Tuesday, February 27, 2007

lone-.....

Am in my room watching season three of scrubs and there’s this surgeon who cant spell his name …and its so simple that a p2 kid can spell todd without first writing it down but the dude spells it tode…..and his a surgeon. It wasn’t funny but I was so stressed that I decided to just laugh it off ...but before I was through current said see ya, till 10 pm. I shout out all the insults I don’t want to hear my self to the UEB director or manager whoever is responsible, but realize later that the dude can’t hear me.

I decide to take a nap but the bed is way to cold... and I don’t know why it’s very cold of late this time of the year.
I take a walk instead, my roommate is not coming back today, hez spending the night at his gals'....but am not sure which one...i just hope its not x coz he'll show up late and start telling me what went wrong.. killing my sleep in the process.

I take the long route coz i may bump into mrs y who is ever asking for something and gives nothing in return( its not what you think). Its too cold...I should have brought a jacket. I pass a couple snogging each other in some corner and some other two holding each other tightly, i pass another who seem to be 2 weeks or 3 weeks old..the gal seems happy, the dude looks impatient.
I get lonely instantly...hmmm. I get really really lonely. I think about my ex... i ask my self what if?

I sing a few lines of baby face's what if
"what if we were supposed to be together, would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house that you go home to every day..."
ughhhhhh...the song doesnt give me what i wanted...it wasnt her that left me.

I get really really lonely...should i call someone?, anybody, as long as its a gal....i pull out my L7, scroll my inbox and her name comes first on the list....i call but disconnect it.....i cant do this to her again.
I think about other options...the new gals, Ivy, Eleanor, Priscilla, Nakamya, Kirabo,....list seems long.

Then it hits me...much as am lonely, I cant stand another relationship. The stress that comes from it, the endless needs thay have....the premiership, airtime.
GOd what should i do.

Am counselling some two friends of mine....they want to split but at the same time want each other....what is wrong with Love.
I recall how the last one who really had my heart in her travel bag told me the dreaded four-word phrase:Can we be friends? .....I was dumped.
Should i go down that road again? hmmm?
But the loneliness: (i miss the arguments, i miss her standing by my side)thats baby face.

I reach wandegeya before i even know it.....eddie tells me Departed is in.....my loneliness kicks the bucket. I get back to normal.